Monday, June 30, 2014

Real Talk

No weekend recap here today because well, our weekend sucked. To be frank, I have been down all weekend and I could never really get out of it until last night so I was basically a party pooper. Luckily, Harper didn't even notice because we still did fun stuff outside and my parents did take us out on Saturday so that help but I was still in a funk. 

Let me just preface that I am extremely blessed to live the life I do. I have a healthy child, a loving and supportive partner, a roof over my head thanks to my parents, and endless support from my family too, but sometimes I forget those things a second and I get overwhelmed with life. I have been down on myself recently about my photography and lots of whys and stressors added to that (Am I good enough? Why would my own friends go to someone else? Why do I get so many inquirers but not even half of them book? What is it?).  I feel like a total loser because I can't contribute to my family income right now because I am trying so hard to grow my business and it has totally made me a head case just thinking about how, well I can't do it... I get down when I feel like everything I'm always looking forward to falls through... All the flippin time. Friends plans, photo shoot plans, play date plans, everything and of course I already take everything personally so its just a downward spiral. Relationship arguments are never fun so that didn't add well to my pot of sad this week but we're good now so that stressor is off of my shoulders thank goodness. And lets not forget the fact that we still live at my parents (thank the lord for them) but it is also tough for a young family when we want our own space and its a hard pill to swallow when you feel like you may never get to the place you want to be no matter how hard you try. Gahhh, being an adult is hard as F and it can totally overtake me at times, like this weekend. I felt like I had everything piled on me all at once and I couldn't handle the pressure so there were lots of tears, naps, and junk food to help relieve the pain but really all I need is my baby and guy to remind me that we have a great life and it sounds cliche but they are what truly makes me happy. 

Sorry for the unusual downer post but not everything in my life is sunshine and gold glitter and I just want be honest about the way I'm feeling. I know everyone is fighting small battles and mine is totally minuscule compared to others but hey, that doesn't mean I still can't have bad days and write about them because this is my journey. xoxo

P.S. I have been terrible about replying to comments so I am sooo sorry but thank you so much for leaving comments all the time. I love reading each and every one and being apart of such a wonderful blogging community! I really feel like I have a friend in so many of you!! 

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